I'm giving up

the stupid computer is back online, but i'm not, so i'm giving it all up

laters

Just a quick one

my home computer's up that well known creek leaving me without a paddle...

so i'm at work and only doing a very quick blog today to say that i'm still alive, but that pretty much it

take care peeps
Px

early this week

i'm not in the best of moods at the moment, not sure why, i guess it's partly down to me trying to redefine my life and how everything fits into it, it's not going too well!
i thought about writing a list of the things a want to change, at the moment there's only one thing on the list: EVERYTHING
i don't know why i want to change things, i guess i'm just fed up with the way things are going for me at the moment, there's nothing so wrong that it stands out as something i need to change, but there are so many things that i feel aren't as they should be.
anyway, i did my nplq, passed it with easy, my time swims were well under, a 37 and a 28, the times that you have to finish the swims are 65 and 45 respectively.
i've not done anything silly to myself this week, but i've had the urge to
i'm just so tired of everything at the moment
i need help, professional help to try and sort myself out, but i'm not going to get any because i'm worried that if i do then they'll find something really wrong with me, or worse, find nothing wrong with me. either way i don't think that they'll be much in the way of help and that's what's holding me back. i wish i could go and get help, but i can't
my friends have been helping, but i don't want to burden them with every little thing that's annoying me or pissing me off or bugging me or whenever some little thing has sent me over the edge again
too tired to care
Px

it's all good
i've been told that i say that to much, so i'll try and cut down on it's use

maybe

doubtful though

anyway, i did have a really good blog, about 3 weeks ago now, but my pootah crashed before i had chance to upload it, which was really helpful, honest it was

over the last month or so I've not done a great deal, got drunk, been out, stayed in, been working, been doing overtime, been on courses

went to see the ladykillers, twas ok, not brilliant, but at the same time not shite

been watching mucha lucha this morning which is excellent

missed kim possible though, apparently it's on tomorrow morning though, so it's all good

very tired at the moment, having to get up early and go on this course, then i'm spending up to 3 hours in the pool each day as well, it's doing wonders for my fitness levels, but it's a bit harsh on the lack of sleep type thing

cat rich and jen came to see me the other day, which was great, not seen any of them for at least 5 weeks, in jen's case it's been a lot longer

didn't do me any good after they left though, i was feeling really pissed off and down so i got the steak knife out and i re-open the longer cut on my forearm, it bled for a while, but every time it stopped i re-opened it to make it bleed again, not the wisest thing i've been up to, but hey

got a digital link from my ps2 to the surround system so now i can hear zombies lurching around behind me while i'm slicing and dicing the ones in front of me

really tired actually, prolly somethig to do with getting up early yesterday and drinking last night and then waking up early this morning

still, it's all good

i should go really

laters peeps
Px