long blog covers the last few days...you were warned

10/6/05
It’s Friday, I should be in the pub having a drink/getting wasted, but I’m seriously not in the mood, in fact as soon as I’ve finished this I’m going to bed…
Today was boring and pointless, we were at the office for 8, training started at half past and finished an hour later, and that was it for the day…really! I spent less than an hour on the computer and phone combined and then had to wait another 90 minutes while the other two did stuff, one of them had been online for the hour I was online and the 90 minutes I had to wait with no apparent regard for anyone else…cheers for that, I really wanted to wait around for that long! Chatted to chunk and filled him in on a few things, he seems to think that if we worked full days we’d be able to have everything done in 2 weeks, and I’m inclined to agree with him, especially as the stuff we’ve done so far has been pretty basic “ this is a fume cupboard, these are the benches, this is the service spine and service wing, the parts around as the are all modular and providing the appropriate connections are available in the spine/wing/whatever the parts are interchangeable” …and who can forget the “these are our new colleagues from Waldner ltd. and Waldner France…” episode?
So things have been fairly easy going, the hardest part has been trying to stay awake!
Speaking of which I’m off now, laters

11/6/5
Saturday, everything is quiet
Today we got up late, lunchtime I think, headed into town for lunch and beer, a good combination as always!
After lunch we headed to the office, no not to work on a Saturday, but to have a look at the local car boot sale which was taking place in the “parkplatz” (car park to you and me) where Spanish got some clothes, I got a pack of cards and French got sunburn! Then it was into the supermarket for some food for the weekend, Spanish declared he was going to cook carbonara for us and proceeded to buy a load of things which would go into it while I wandered around looking for thinks that would be a) easy and simple to cook, and b) would be cheap and use ingredients that could be used more than once if we didn’t us all of them at once…French just wandered around, think he ended up buying another bottle of vodka seeing as we’d polished the other one off the other day…in a couple of hours, which is why he was sick, Spanish was hung-over and I felt ok ish…so shopping was uneventful
We also decided to actually go swimming today, instead of just talking about it and getting lost on the way! We found the pool, it’s outside, big and cold, Spanish sat and read his book, me and French got in to pool…it was fucking cold I’ll tell you, we did 20 lengths/1000m and got out to have a go on the flume/slide thing, it was cool, and after a few goes we got Spanish to come and have a go as well, but all the fun that 1 slide can generate fades after about 15 minutes and so we decided to leave
We got home and Spanish cooked his carbonara, it was pretty good, it smelled amazing, but he cooked way too much and it was a little bland for my liking, but at this point I was starving so I ate all I could. The plan for the evening had been to go to the piss up in a brewery, but at 9 we were still sat in the house, Spanish was making some rumblings about getting ready, French was asleep and I was sitting right here playing silly computer games, eventually Spanish decided that because no-one else seemed bothered about it he was going on his own, by this point I didn’t care, I was feeling tired and swimming in the cold outdoor pool had made my cold come back and French was still asleep…so off Spanish went…French went to bed and I blogged, now I’m done and I’m going to bed too…laters
12/6/5
It’s Sunday afternoon, I’ve been out of bed under an hour and I so can’t be bothered today, Spanish is reading his book again and I’ve not seen French yet, he’s either still in bed or he’s gone out for another run.
Sunday’s in Germany are dead, there’s nothing to do because pretty much everything is closed, I know that the bar’s will be open, but that would involve driving to town and then I can’t drink too much, I want to get away from the other two for a little while, just to have some time on my own I guess, that’s probably why I didn’t get out of bed until something like 3pm
I’m getting tired of translating Spanish’s dodgy English for French and vice versa
It looks like quite a nice day outside, but Spanish says it’s too cold to sit outside so once I’ve done this I’m going to hunt down my book and read some more, I might read outside, contrary to Spanish’s warning that it’s freezing, a least outside I’m on my own and not cooped up in my room again, and anything’s got to be better than watching some American programme heavily dubbed into German for Austrian TV, but the Grand Prix is on later so I’ll watch that in German, just have the sound down low…
Think I’m going to cook tonight, so them how food should be done as it were, not sure what I’m going to cook, but I’m going to have a go, fingers crossed it’ll turn out ok. Don’t want to head into town again for food because we’ve done that every night so far and although the food’s been pretty good, there’s only so many time I can hear Spanish saying “do you speak English?” with his dodgy Spanish accent before I’m going to want to rip his head off and insert it up his own arse…he’s not that bad, but I think he should at least ask them in German like I have been, they seem a little more accommodating with me when I’ve asked in German than when he’s asked in English!
Still feeling homesick, I’m wavering between feeling homesick and feeling ok, but having only these 2 to spend my day with over the weekend has been pretty dull, although I’m getting on with both of them in small doses it’s bugging me having to spend all my time with them…hopefully when the “KalkMC6” training kicks in things will be more interesting, at work at least!
Right that’s me done for now, but I expect that I’ll probably blog again later…
…I was right!
Just finished cooking and eating, it was nice we were going to have a bbq, but the stupid thing didn’t light very well, but then what do you expect for €2.99?! so I did most of it in the frying pan…we ate it all and fingers crossed no one is feeling rough tomorrow J
Been messaging LL again today, she had some bad new yesterday so my heart goes out to her and I wish I was there to help her out…but I’m stuck here!
Actually feeling better this evening, not sure why, think it’s probably down to the sun, spent a couple of hours our in it this afternoon, proving Spanish wrong…it wasn’t freezing J and I’ve given myself a bit of colour…might even come bad with a tan, how good is that considering I can see snow topped mountains from my window?!?! I’ve got a couple of pictures of what I can see from the front door, I’ll see about uploading them when I get home…
Chunk, maybe you can help me out here, ok, so I’m in Germany, and I don’t know the language, but I know enough to know that they keep using Italian, ciao, to say bye, but ciao means hello…and why do they say (what sounds like) “choose!” instead of ciao sometimes? It makes no sense…chunk help would be nice…
Just a quick note about something that has made me laugh…TV
So far I’ve seen a film with Samuel L Jackson, king of cool, which was dubbed and I’m sorry Sam, but the guy who did it made you sound gay!
We watched the Canadian GP this evening and it’s just nowhere near as good as the UK coverage, there is no Austrian Murray Walker…and that’s a shame…Murray, you’re missed greatly!
And finally we’re watching James Bond now, and although some of the voices are fairly similar, Dame Judi Dench is one, Pierce Brosnan is pretty close too, but unfortunately he’s closer to been Roger Moore than Brosnan, it’s just not the same at all…I miss English TV, might have to watch a dvd on the ever trusty laptop after my shower.
Speaking of which that’s where I’m heading now…laters/ciao/”choose”

13/6/5
I forgot to take the stuff with me today to actually blog…so I’ll have to do it tomorrow now…
So far today has been as dull as all the rest of the training days! Now there’s a surprise!!! We started at about 8 as usual, and by 9.30 we’d stopped again, and we’d even had a 10-minute break! Then seeing as lunch wasn’t until 12, that gave us 2 ½ hours to ourselves, being the first one at the computer I proceeded to check my emails and spent 2 hours sat there to make up for the time the other two had made me wait the other day, they went into town and did some shopping or something, I really don’t care what they got upto to be honest. Lunch at 12 for a hour or more, it took us less than 30 minutes to eat…so we went back to the training room and I sat and read some more, Spanish went off to read his emails, French just sat there looking blank! This morning’s training was supposed to have lasted until 12 by the way! The next session of training was actually quite interesting and I was getting into it, but then I found out it’s not really something that I’ll be doing in my job role…great…why bother to show me it then??!! The whole session was booked for 2 hours and again only took and 1½ hours and again we took a 10 minutes break!
So that leaves us with “personal business” which appears on our timetable a fair amount and it’s time we are supposed to use to get on with our work, of which we have a combined total of none, geeeeeeeeeenius! So after checking my mails for the second time today, I didn’t take very long this time knowing that the others would like to have a look at theirs too and I’d spent a while online this morning, finished, I pass over to French and take up his position of reading, our computer number has shrunk to 1 between the 3 of us for some reason…Spanish was downstairs reading, and the guy who’d set out our training programme, chunk you know who this is I assume, came over and said that he thinks it’d be a good idea if I just went home instead of reading, I think yeah that’s a fair comment, but I haven’t got the keys to the car, Spanish has. So off this bloke goes and finds Spanish reading too, he says the same to him, stating that it wouldn’t be a good idea if the directors saw us reading and with nothing to do…at this point I think hang on a minute, didn’t you set up the whole training programme? Didn’t you give us all this time with which to do “personal business”? Even though we’ve only just started with the company and therefore don’t actually have any work to do? All of this info he knew, and still set aside time for us to do effectively nothing…clever! Now that just pissed me off because he made it seem our fault, even though it was him that cocked up!
Now do you realise why I think this training could be done better in 2 weeks?
Now do you realise why I don’t see the point of flying me out to Germany, putting me in accommodation, spending 2 weeks training me in things that I don’t need to have a huge knowledge of, paying me 4 weeks worth of wages for doing something that could probably have been done in half the time in England, saving on various costs?
Now do you see why I want to come home?
Now do you see why I’m pissed off?
I mean…come on people, aren’t Germans are supposed to be renowned for their efficiency…give me a fucking break here people, this is ridiculous!
So far I’ve not worked passed 3pm on any day, some days I’ve only had 1 ½ hours “working” and I use the term very lightly…and for this I’m being paid a full wage? I know it seems like I’m whinging about nothing, but think about it, I’d rather be working, not training, I’d rather be earning my money, not wasting someone else’s. I’m pissed off about this now and I think that the “training” programme is a big pile of shit which I could re-organise and make more efficient in about 20 minutes by cutting out all the detailed crap to do with the service spine/wing and everything else that we sell, the AutoCAD session I had today, the 2 ½ hours of sitting on my arse this morning, the “personal business” and I could have this training done in about 2 weeks. I could have it set up so that someone in each of the subsidiary companies, of which one is Waldner Ltd., could deliver it just as easily, if not easier. I mean I’ve learnt more about the products from looking at the catalogues than from listening to a German bloke telling me about the “FAZ Functions” and how everything is “executed”…Chunk, what the fuck is going on here?
Right, I’ve calmed down a little so I’m ok now, but I’m still pissed off about it…
Popped into town this afternoon after writing all the above, went shopping, got some food (mine all mine, French keeps eating things that are for everyone when he’s on his own) and sweets and some postcards, that’s about it though, took my time walking around taking some pictures, mainly of fountains as there are so many here…not sure why though, it also gave me a chance to be on my own for a while which was cool.
When I got back to the house French had gone out, funnily enough he was in town…but I didn’t see him and I did tell people I was going out (via a note on the table)…oh well! Did a bit more sunbathing when I got back with Spanish, we both sat there reading until French got back. French and Spanish were playing chess when I finally came in, French was having his ass handed to him on a plate proper style as Spanish completely wiped him out. So I though it was only fair that I returned the favour, after a dodgy start and a couple of mistakes during the game it ended with me beating Spanish with only a queen (from a pawn) and a king against a king…the usual end game when I play woja, except I was winning!!! Yes woja, I did use the standard opening that we’ve perfected over the years.
I’m also pleased to report that the ants have disappeared, maybe they realised that no-one was coming back from the table or in fact anywhere near where I had been, I was being fair, I didn’t kill them all, only every other one, flicking the other ones as hard as I could off the table may have killed them though… but now it’s flies! I’ve killed about 5 today, and I have less sympathy for flies and I’m killing them all, they just bug me…literally! But I think seeing as they can fly and are quicker than the ants they don’t need the edge of my only getting every other one…
Had a massive email from Luton lass, took me ages to reply, but it made me feel pretty good and made me smile so I can forgive her for that. Also had emails off chunk and, strangely, penny from the abbey!!! It was odd to hear from her, but cool, so I replied to everyone and I like it when I hear things from home, it doesn’t make me feel as distant…hint hint…I like to get emails…hint hint…send me some more emails!!!
Right I think dinner is ready…wurst, egg and chips, but I think something was burning a little while ago L
Laters