elsewhere

oh
my
god

i had about 4 hours sleep last night, i wasn't tired, but i needed to sleep :(

i've got to go to the hospital today and i'm getting really quite nervous about it

i know it's not going to be needles and the like (it'd better not be anyway) it's only an ultrasound to have a look inside me and search for gall stones and things like that

part of me is worrying that they'll find what they're looking for and everything will be ok
part of me is worrying that they'll find something else, something bad
part of me is worrying that they'll find nothing at all...this for me is the worst option

i wish i'd slept better
i wish i didn't have to be at work this morning
i'm on the verge of tears to be honest

and did i mention that i've got to starve myself...i missed breakfast this morning because i thought i'd probably only throw it all up again anyway, but now i can't eat until after i've been to hospital, i can only have clear fluids...and water goes straight through me!

i'm sorry, it's a bit of a downer post again today, i didn't really want that to happen though!
i'm tired, hungry and scared
and now i'm signing off
laters :o(