bad couple of days

ok peeps, lets break this down for me and you

i've had a really bad couple of days recently (hell the whole month wouldn't be something worth writing home about if i didn't already live there again!)

anyway, the last couple of days i've bene getting down and shit and it's not cool

some people near me have suggested that i get away

and now i'm seriously considering not only getting away for a while, but getting away for good. i know ive mentioned in the past that i need a holiday, but this time i think i need more than that, this time i think i just need to run

a tour of asia has been suggested, so has australia, i'd love to go back to the states

my only worry is that all this would be me just running away from things that i just don't want to deal with

honestly
i'm struggling at the moment
things between my mum and dad have got me wound up
i can't stop tihnking about someone
and at the same time i can't stpo thinking about my ex and what she's doing and who with
i need to get a job sorted out
i want somewhere that's my own space, living with my mum has its benefits, but at the same time it's not my own space
i feel let down by people who i thought would be there for me, and at the same time i feel like i'm letting them down by not being strong enough to deal with everything that's facing me
sorry, welling up at the moment so if there are any spelling mistakes it's because i can't see the keyboard properly
and it's christmas
part of me that's still a kid, loves christmas, but this year it's going to be shit
no two ways around it, it's going to be shit
i mean, i'm single, living with my mum (who's single too) it'll be our first year without dad around, if he'd died it would be easier but he's still there and being a wanker about things so that'll make for a fun time
and to top it all off, there's nothing i want, nothing at all
well nothing that anyone will feasibly get for me

sorry i'm just really pissed off and depressed at the moment
px out