It's been ages and people have complained, so I'm here

I'm not sure what's going on with my life at the moment, just when everything seems to be going ok it falls apart.

I've got a new job

I'm engaged to the lovely Lizzy

I'm on anti-depressents again

I'm tired all the time

And things seem to be going, not well, not badly, just going

that's about all I can say at the moment

last night i was having a bad night and i wanted to disappear, hurt myself or die, but i didn't, i thought that if i did that then things would be worse. i know i have a problem and i know that i need help, i'm just not sure where to go and what good it will do. remember i've been to councilling before, and it didn't work then so history tells me that it might not work this time either. the pills seem to help some of the time, but i seem to be a lot angrier since i started on them, adn the insomnia/tiredness seems to be related to them and stress. the new job's not stressful, but i've not recovered from the stress of the last one.

i seem to be losing touch of the people in my life that i love and that upsets me

i went to see WWE smackdown in march when it was in sheffield, sad i know, but oh so very cool and i know that you wish you'd been there too...in actual fact i'm going to see the raw roster in a couple of weeks, still owe R for the last lot, let alone this time, don't worry, i'll sort you out sometime, i'll not forget

i've missed writing this, i didn't realise how much it helped when i was doing it, i might see if i can start doing it a bit more often

i'll try anyway

be good peoples and take care, i'm going to try too
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