monday morning

its the first time in a couple of weeks that i've been able to post something on a monday morning...and that's all good

yesterday i didnt get the fug
although i did get a bad head from saturday night

nothing is happening this week, its great to be able to do nothing

although last night it kinda hit me that at the moment i've got nothing and no-one and i was a bit pissed at that

but i'm not going to let it get to me as it's too much hassle to think about that on top of everything else

ok i think i said something about posting about women and no mexico
ok one at a time
women
my ex (the lovely lady) is seeing someone new, and i'm not bothered by this, i'm bothered about her not telling me though and me being told by someone else who said "i guess youknow there's something going on between x and y?" to which i said i'd guessed that something was going on.
someone new and me had somehting going on (which is partly why i wasn't bothered about the ex) but that fell apart because she is convinced that i've been playing games with her and still want the ex...and no matter how much i told her otherwise it didn't make any difference to her, she was convinced.
so that's me looking again

no mexico
this is a bit difficult
there are loads of reasons why i should've gone (the woman even called me again today to see if i wanted the place or not, i thought i only had 7 days, she gave me a lot more) in fact me and jenfer sat and wrote a list of pros and cons and for the 4 cons we had something like 20 pros. but 2 of the cons were big
#1 when i come back my mother would've had to sell the house because my dad is forcing the issue and as a result any house that she'll buy won't be big enough for us both because he's claiming that he needs some £160k to buy himself a house because he can't lie with the woman that he's had the affair with (no idea why, still not talking to him)
#2 she's been really depressed and on the verge of suicide, i know she won't, but she keeps going on about it at the moment and i don't want to leave her on her own at the moment. as much as it's stressing me out at the moment with her being like this, i just can't leave her
part of me feels like i've been guilted into staying, part of me knows that this is the right thing to do for now, part of me was already buying the plane ticket and working out what else i was going to do while i was out there

i'm tired, i've not been sleeping very well recently
and it doesn't look like it's giving up at the moment
i think i'm going to hit the sack for a bit nowand see if i can sleep some more
laters peeps
Px