i'm trying here...bear with me please
"i don't know what's wrong, at the moment i have no desire to get up in the morning, no reason for going to work and i don't want to come home after i've been there.
the smallest things are pissing me off, like yesterday, work phoned me about something simple, but it was something that i obviously wouldn't know the answer too not having been at work yesterday, yet they still saw fit to phone me up about it anyway...that pissed me off
they phoned me and skirted around the fact that they were a teacher down, but wouldn't come out and ask me to do it directly, so i made up some bullshit about being busy and decided that i wasn't going in for them because if i had a similar situation i wouldn't phoen the department head on their day off to let them know that cover was needed, i'd find the cover myself and leave them a note about what i'd done.
in my appraisal i was told that i should leave and go travelling...fair enough, but when i put in for a weeks leave later that day i'm told that i might not be able to have it because thay can't do without me that week...yeah cheers...mixed information is really going to do my head well
it's got to the point where i just can't be bothered anymore and if i could live without work and money then i would.
i just wish that there was an easy answer to stopping all the stupid little things in my life from annoying me and winding me up and that way i could clear my head and get on with everything that needs to be done, but feeling like this i just can't get on with anything. i'm due in work this afternoon and i know that i'll mooch around for a few hours and not actually get much done, if anything, then come home and feel just as bad and get really narked about something and want to go out and drive like a maniac for a while just to get it out of my system
i've been here before and i'm not going to let it beat me, but i can feel it winning
i know i need help, but i don't know what help i need or where to get it
but basically that's what's wrong"
taken from an email to a mate that i sent this morning because she asked what was wrong
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