i started a blog the other day, but i crashed out of the computer and now i can't remember what the hell i was talking about in it

such is life

anyway, i'm still tired, i think things have gone a little tit's up too, but i can't think why or explain what's wrong, just a general feeling that there is something that is making me paranoid and i'm not acting very sensibly as a result...sucks doesn't it

nothing on the job front, going to leave it for a little while, after speaking to my boss a few times this week i want to know what's going on before i make a proper decision, although i have had a couple more application forms come through, might fill out the one for wwl, probably fill out the one for alton towers, won't be filling out the one for somerset, that one sounded very boring which is probably a good thing

my boss hinted that there might be a little "movement" in the company soon and a centre manager's position might become available and that he'll push as much as he can for me to get it because he thinks i'm capable of it...scary prospect, but i could do it, i know i could!

things are generally feeling a bit crappy at the moment though, work aside, just feeling generally down and out of sorts, but then i know that everyone gets like that once in a while and everyone else deals with it so it's time that i started to learn how

people are getting in touch at the moment too...people i've not heard from for a while, it's good to hear from them, even though they probably don't realise it, so hey to you!

feeling the need for a really good mosh pit

quote of the week:
"i'm worried that i won't get into heaven unless i'm nice to pussies" from The Unadulterated Cat

lyric of the week:
"going once
going twice
three times
fuck this i'm gone"
from Invisible Man by Theory Of A Deadman

and on that note i am actually gone...laters peeps
Px

arrr jim lad

it's national talk like a pirate day, but i'm not going to go in to it that much, i promise

random day at work, actually enjoying my day which is good, absolutely knackered thogh, went to bed late, got up early...burning the candle at both ends a little

went to the pub last night with h, he and i spent some time putting the world to rights and supping a couple of beers...it was good...definately what i needed, hopefully it made him feel a little better too...we're both having a rough time at work, we're both thinking that it's not what we signed up for adn we're both thinking to staging a revolt...not to say that we're revolting though...

anyway...still at work so i'd better get on with things

oh

my

god

i have to get out of this rut
i have to get out of this hole
i have to get out of this job
i have to get out of this place

and i've got to do it now now now now now now!

how do you go about getting a whole new life? i need one, with a new job, money, somewhere to live, someone to be with, the last one isn't important, the others are, new job first, anywhere.
maybe i should just run away and start again somewhere else, when i say run away i don't mean it in the usual sense, i mean just up sticks and start again somewhere fresh, maybe in a different country even, but i've got to get away from here, it's making me ill, the whole cycle of work eat sleep work eat sleep is getting me down, and the lower i get the less i sleep and eat, but the more i get wound up about work...it's not as though i even enjoy it anymore...someone, please set me free

maybe tomorow will be better, maybe it won't
maybe tomorrow i'll write my letter of resignation, get myself ready to up sticks and go.
if i sold everything that i own i should be able to get a plane ticket to somewhere and still have enough to statr my new life, even if it'll be a bit on the minimalist side to start with

oh well
laters peeps
Px

one of THOSE days

being me gets boring, but being me and workig where i work is even worse

i'm having one of those days and it's only half 9 in the morning, i've already spent some time looking for a new job and emailing and phoning people to see if they'll give me a job

i need to get out of didcot and i need a job that is what i want not what i can do without thinking about it...i know that must be some people's dream, working without having to think about it, but i need to be challenged and i need to be tested by what i'm doing

it's getting that bad that i'm now lookig outside of the leisure industry for a job, any job will do providing it pays me enough to live on, saw one for a medical sales rep which gives me a company car, and all that type of stuff, and is going to challenge me more than what i'm doing, and you know me, i've got the gift of the gab and could sell ice-cream to eskimos so i'm thinking that it might be worth a try

i'm so tired at the moment, my sleep pattern is shot to bits again and i've got too much on my mind...i need a switch off

anyway i'm at work again at the moment so i should get off the net and get on with something...except i can't be bothered

take care peeps
Px

sick

just saw my ex for the first time since she walked out on me, only briefly as she went past in her car with her new man in it...and now i feel sick...

sick to my stomach

i suppose it show's just how much she affected me, but i don't want her to still have this effect on me, she's nothing to me anymore so why does it make me feel sick?

sick and angry

initially it did pass, but i know that it's affecting me and that's what's making me angrier

it's a pain in the arse

anyway

no news on the job front, going to have a look for some more jobs today

need to get away, if i know that i'll never see her again it'll make me feel better

no news on my housing plans yet either, there are a few things in the pipeline though, all depends on what i'm going to do about work

i'm really not happy with where i am and i might pop over and have a chat with the boss this afternoon after i've dealt with a couple of things that my folks want me to do...

laters peeps
Px

just a quickie
so i went training, nearly broke my shin though...not good...the meeting was interesting, but i don't think anyone listened to my points about the company providing a service to the community and therefore we should be providing a better public service than we are, still i live and learn

still nothing on the job front, but a bit of good news on the housing front, a sale has been agreed, but the new owner is looking at renting the property out and is willing to take me on as the tenant if i want to stay there...so i'm thinking about it for now

work, which is where i am now have done the most sensible thin ever since i started and now i can use the net while at work! about time is what i say...

at work now and should be doing something, not sure what, but something, don't feel like it tonight though and i might call a sick day tomorrow because i've not ben feeling too good today, my IBS is playing me up a little :(

tired, hungry, stressed...just another day in the life of pete

laters
Px

multi pointed blog again today

1. aol again
i hate it...it's a crap system that never seems to let me stay online for more than about 10 minutes at a time...it either boots me or freezes the computer up and forces it to re-start... it's crap

2. the tp front
as you're probably aware i don't live with my folks at the moment...but i do come back, primarily when i want feeding or the use of a "decent" computer, i use the term decent with an edge of caution as it'll probably boot me again in a minute... but recently the toilet paper situation has been comical at home, with the tp not standing up to the expectations that i have come to expect from, not only my house proud parents, but from the bog paper that they choose to buy, recently it has been of a very sub-standard quality and might i add not very soft... however i am glad to report that the situation appears to have been rectified for the time being and the usual soft, nice and sensible tp has made a most welcome return

3. the job front
nothing's happened yet, but then i'm not expecting anything to just yet

4. the home front
again nothing's happened here either, but i was told that some people came and had a look around the bombsite that is my home at the moment, i did try and tidy it up a little, but i couldn't be that bothered, so mainly i moved stuff into places that they shouldn't be looking anyway

5. the western front
all's quiet here

6. the preston front
nothing ever happens here either

7. work
work is work is work...it's usually really pants, but it can range anywhere on the scale from bearable, right through my pants, to "oh my god that was really worth me turning up to this shit hole again today, why the fuck do i bother?" which can generally be seen as a rather boring, dull, meaningless and on the whole pointless endeavour for the day, supposed to be in a meeting tonight, followed by lifeguard training, i don't know if i can be bothered to turn up to either, but i should really, i'd much rather be in the pub or at home, or anywhere to be honest

8. drunk people
should be shot if they think that calling me at half 3 in the morning is ever going to illicit a response that isn't going to end up in physical harm the next time i catch up with them...you've been warned

9. me in general
feeling a little hacked off in general at the moment... never sure why, but hey, it can't be that bad...can it? sleeping better than i have for a little while. moods are slowly levelling out to their usual balance of walking that tightrope between insanity and mediocrity...either way i'm damned, just kidding people

that's it for now...i'll keep you posted on the tp front and job front, just in case anything changes

laters peeps
Px

multiple points
1. aol
aol is crap and i hate it, i've been "online" for a few hours now, but the most time i've spent in one go is about 20 minutes and then aol kicks me off...and no i'm not looking at porn or anything dodgy like that

2. second interview
had another interview with LA fitness yesterday, went better than the first and i'm a little more confident about it, it was in stevenage too, which is about half the distance to bury st. edmunds which is a little better

3. my flat
i've resigned myself to the fact that i'm losing the shag pad and moving back home, two reasons, it's cheaper and if i'm looking for a new job, i don't want to be tied into a contract on a property really

4. life's too short
several people that i know have died recently, this has led me into concluding that life really is too short, so i'm turning over a new leaf and i'm going to stop moping around and worrying about stuff that really will sort itself out in the long run, i'm thinking that i've got about 50 years left, and i want to enjoy them all properly, yeah there are going to be low points, but there's going to be high points to and i've got to learn to concentrate on them and not the low ones

5. it's boring i know
my life for the last week has been pretty quiet, not done much apart from work, and as we know that's not going as well as i'd like it to be...so there's not much to tell this week

laters peeps
Px

done and dusted
only took me 2 and a half hours to get there, and the same back.
had to buy a new shirt when i got there though, all that time in a car without air con in the middle of the day made me a little sweaty and so i needed a shirt before i went in, but i got one so it was ok.
don't think it went that well, just a feeling that i kept repeating myself to them, i don't do selling myself very well, but you never know, i'll not find out until next friday though
sucks doesn't it!
still
think the emotional high is wearing off
what with wanting to move and finding a new job being big clues leading me to that conclusion, still mustn't let it get to me or there will be problems when it comes to being interviewed.
quick poll...three words that describe me...any three, please be honest though, i don't want anyone taking the piss...Mr p.s.4.b boy...you know what i mean...email them to me, then next time when they ask i can tell them what everyone would say!
i hate that question
anyway, as soon as i know, i'll post, i'll post in between now and then though so don't be suprised when you read something and it doesn't say anything. but i don't think i've got it, so there you go
laters
Px

have an interview
tomorrow
in bury st. edmunds
never been there
didn't realise i'd even applied for this job?
la fitness are after me
i can tell
this is the 2nd position that they've called me about, the last one they'd filled before they called me...stupid norks!
this time i'll get it though
got to wear my suit...!!!???
need to hunt out my tie too
going to take me 3 hours to get there apparently...not the way i drive surely...
interview's not until 4pm though so that's not too bad
not sure what i'm going to do if they offer me a position though
money's more
bit too far away though...won't be able to commute
won't have my friends around me either
will HAVE to make a good impression though, would prefer it to the one i've got
it's called advancement baby yeah
something that i've not got from the change of job i had earlier this year, which was at most a step sideways, maybe even backwards... that sucks
not eaten anything this evening yet, not sure what t have either, didn't get anything out of the freezer :( might have an omlette...again, might scrounge of the folks, but i think they've eaten now :(
oh well...
laters
Px

i'm tired and narky

the intention was that yesterdy i'd blog, but i didn't because the computer was playing up.

today i just don't feel like writing very much

got to fill out some job applications, other than that nothing exciting is happening :(

px

nabbed some time in the office at work so i'll make this quick
i hate tension
of any kind
and i hate people who enjoy torturing others
by using tension

everything else is all good

update properly at the weekend

Px