i am a llama
sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be:
somewhere else...i don't mean like right now, i mean like if i'd have grown up somewhere else, like in the states of in france or even south africa (i mention these places as they were the first that came to my head, but because i want to be there or anything in particular). i mnea there would be certain cultural differences and languages and things like that, but would i still be the same me as i am now or would i be totally different? maybe i'd have joined the army, maybe i'd be married with kids, maybe i'd have more friends, but less people who really know me...there are some many things that could be different
i like to think i'm a success story where ever i am...;
someone else...i mean actually someone else, like david beckham or steve urwin or sharon osbourne (again names were picked at random, i can't stand beckham) or even if i were chunk or woja or even PP, would i be like them or like me, would i enjoy their life or want to change it, would i moan about it? it'd be nice to sample other peoples lives, but i think i'd prefer to stick to my own sometimes;
something else...like a llama or a tree or the last dodo in existence...

sorry feeling a bit random today
attempted to discuss the idea of leaving the lifeguard job with mother morning, she wasn't too impressed, saying that i needed the second job to clear my debts and that without it i wouldn't cope...even though i've been struggling through the last few months without having the second job...so what's changed? nothing
i don't know what to do, i know what i want to do though and that's not have a second job, it cuts into my spare time and means that i'm working 6 full days a week and an additional evening as well, which is just going to wear me out and i'm going to suffer again health wise like i did just before i left the wave.
but at the same time i need some more money
this whole situation sucks

and to top it all off i've not prepared my HNT yet either and i need to do that tonight when i get in from the stupid lifeguard job...

i'm so fed up with everything now that i want to be a llama living in france thinking that i'm sharon osbourne
laters
(a rather grouchy and tired of it all)
Px