the L word
after chatting with a couple of people this week about various aspects of the L word, i've decided to post my thoughts on the matter...
there are a couple of things that i want to clear up, and i'm going to break it down nice and simple (so i can understand what i'm saying more than anything) we have 3 areas:
1) lust
2) love
3) being in love
now some people might argue that the last 2 are the same, but they're not and i'll explain that later.
lust...one of the 7 deadly sins, and who can blame them, right? different people have different ideas as to what lust is and what it entails, the following is just my take on it. when i lust after someone they are in my head a lot, i'm usually thinking about the things i'd like to do to them, and yes, we are talking about sex here. i'm not thinking lovey dovey things about them, i'm not looking at them and thinking 'i would love to hold your hand, and walk in the park with you' i'm thinking ''i wonder how quick we could get naked and make the beast with two backs, i wonder if there's anything i could do to make you quiver'. and although i do think about feelings and getting involved with that person, it would never last unless i could get over the whole lust thing with them, and that's not easy.
love...not a dealy sin, just an emotion. you can love someone without being in love with them. it's easily done, i love a lot of people, love to me is an extension of the feeling of friendship, i have my friends and the i have the people i love, and then i have my lady who i am in love with, and that's the difference. i love my best mate, but there is no way in hell i'd ever be in love with him (he's not my type for a start lol) and that's the biggest distinction, i love him as a mate, i know that if there's something wrong i can turn to im for a chat and advice and to be someone who i can rely on. now i can get all of that from my lady too...but there's a difference...read on
being in love...now i am in love my lady, i know this is true. i know this because if i wasn't in love with her, i wouldn't still be with her after the last couple of months and the other things that have happened outside our relationship. things that have had affected us in a massive way. so to me, being in love is doing everything and anything in your power to be with someone, including waiting, taking a step back into the shadows and wading through the shit that sometimes comes along with it, through no-one's fault. being in love is the feeling that, even though life has dealt you a rough hand, everything is going to turn up trumps. being in love isn't about knowing everything about a person or a situation, being in love is about the discovery. when i see her i want to cuddle her, i want to hold her and be touchy feely with her, i thinking about taking her places and sharing things with her. yes i think about her in the lustful way, she's fucking sexy as hell and i'm making a lot of people jealous by being with her. but being in love with her means that i'm not just thinking those things, it means i think about her in relation to every aspect of my life. and i do mean ever single aspect, because she means that much to me.
anyway, that's my take on things, discuss?
Px