Saturday 2 December 2006

bad couple of days

ok peeps, lets break this down for me and you

i've had a really bad couple of days recently (hell the whole month wouldn't be something worth writing home about if i didn't already live there again!)

anyway, the last couple of days i've bene getting down and shit and it's not cool

some people near me have suggested that i get away

and now i'm seriously considering not only getting away for a while, but getting away for good. i know ive mentioned in the past that i need a holiday, but this time i think i need more than that, this time i think i just need to run

a tour of asia has been suggested, so has australia, i'd love to go back to the states

my only worry is that all this would be me just running away from things that i just don't want to deal with

honestly
i'm struggling at the moment
things between my mum and dad have got me wound up
i can't stop tihnking about someone
and at the same time i can't stpo thinking about my ex and what she's doing and who with
i need to get a job sorted out
i want somewhere that's my own space, living with my mum has its benefits, but at the same time it's not my own space
i feel let down by people who i thought would be there for me, and at the same time i feel like i'm letting them down by not being strong enough to deal with everything that's facing me
sorry, welling up at the moment so if there are any spelling mistakes it's because i can't see the keyboard properly
and it's christmas
part of me that's still a kid, loves christmas, but this year it's going to be shit
no two ways around it, it's going to be shit
i mean, i'm single, living with my mum (who's single too) it'll be our first year without dad around, if he'd died it would be easier but he's still there and being a wanker about things so that'll make for a fun time
and to top it all off, there's nothing i want, nothing at all
well nothing that anyone will feasibly get for me

sorry i'm just really pissed off and depressed at the moment
px out

4 comments:

Lindsey said...

Awwww my dear. You and I are in a very similar predictament. Except I live alone...which also has it's benefits AND downfalls, specifically there being no one to greet you when you come home or take care of you when you're sick like I've been.

You do need a Holiday and you deserve it. Go clear your head and you'll come back revived and able to better handle all that's going on around you. I promise. That's what it did for me.

Hang in there...and you know I'm here if you need me.

P.S. I like the beardless pic. :o)

Px said...

ok i think that really there's 2 worries, the running away thing being the first, the second is not coming back

linny
i'd rather be on my own at the moment. i can't deal with this and other people around me, so i'd rather be on my own and sort it out that way
as for the holiday, like i said above, it's the coming back bit that i think is what concerns me a little (well more than a little)
and thanks, yeah i know you're there, but there is a long way away from here and as much as i appriciate your offer, we both know that it's doubtful that i'll take you up on it

Lindsey said...

What offer?

I was just saying I'm here if you want to vent or whatever via email. Don't think you can try comin over here to hit on U.S. chics dude. At least not unless you're putting out. :o)

Px said...

i'd put out

but i'm not coming over

i meant that the offer to talk/email that kind of stuff

you know what i'm like, i rant here then leave it

once it's out there, if someone wants to talk to me then they need to ask the questions...it's just what i'm like, that's all